Tuesday, January 13, 2009

{i don't know if i can}


I'm having a little taste of bitter sweet these days. After a meeting with the preschool here we have made a plan for Bossy Pants to begin attending in April.

There is one main reason for this decision and several reasons that I see it as being a huge benefit to him.

The major reason is that he has a slight speech delay. He CAN talk. I think mostly he chooses not to. And I also feel that he has learned to say many words incorrectly due to the problems that the relentless ear infections have presented for his hearing.

He has been having weekly sessions with a in-home Speech Pathologist and has already made marking improvements. I can't tell you how much I look forward to him being able to communicate more clearly to us. It's hard for me to see him get so frustrated because we can't understand what it is he is trying to tell us. And once it reaches a certain point, he gives up all together and results in tantrums, arm pulling and pointing while nearly screaming. I just want to understand him.


One of the other benefits I see here is that he will have more interaction with children his age. Basically the only time he spends without adults only is when we visit my side of the family and he can play with my younger sisters. And when he is with them, he is the beloved little nephew who gets all the things he wants and all the patience in the world. Needless to say, this can cause some problems when he is around other kids who don't know him from Adam and couldn't care less that he is some body's nephew. Let's just say he doesn't handle sharing well and for a two and a half year old, he is pretty darn strong.

So there are a few of the reasons. That makes this sweet for me.

The not so sweet part. I'll be sending my boy off to school before he is even three!

I can hardly stand the thought of sending him off to spend the day {actually only a few hours} with other people. And being so tiny. The school is less than a mile from our home. That is a little bit comforting. But still I just don't know how I will do it. I feel certain that the first week will be a challenge. Bossy Pants gets big time separation anxiety. But I don't think he will be the only one bawling his eyes out. I'll save it for the 45 second drive home but I'm pretty sure it is inevitable.

Maybe I'm just a big baby.

Scratch that. I'm positive that I am.

But that's just how it is.

I will miss my boy.

8 comments:

mrs_jpyatt said...

Ok you are just so amazing to me! And big baby or not you are a strong wonderful women in my eyes! You do the things your babies need and you swallow your pride! That is a good mommy! I love the pic of all your shadows and how you can see baby boys head sticking out from the side of yours but just a lil like he's growing from you head! It's an amazing metephor with out even trying to be! Be strong Mommy you can do it!

Kathleen said...

Love that shadow picture of the three of you.

Totally feel for you when dropping him off. I put our little one in daycare when she was just over one for 4 months, and ugh, that first day. I was good until the director asked me how I was doing then I lost it. And it's ok to lose it, he's your baby. But in the end, I'm sure the added interaction with other children will be wonderful for him. :o)

sara,mike,rhett,and gage said...

Don't worry about his speech for some it just takes time it sounds a lot like my older boy.He is a big tantrummer.But he's getting better now that he is just starting to get better at talking to people. So I wouldn't worry so much about that. But preschool will be good for him! I just started taking my kids to church for the kid interaction too they need to know how to behave around other children and what's right and wrong.That's the only way they'll learn.

The Bishop Family said...

The first few days will be tough for you both no doubt! It's even harder when they cry as you walk away. I know...I've been there. Just think of all the positive that will come from it. Just be positive around him and make him excited for it. It will become something he enjoys. Go ahead and cry when you leave him. It's tough, heck...it's natural! If you manage to keep yourself busy *which I'm sure with another baby at home shouldn't be too hard* the time will pass quickly, just don't watch the clock! :)

LORI said...

I STILL REMEMBER SENDING NATE AND KATIE OFF FOR THEIR FIRST DAYS OF PRESCHOOL--IT WAS REALLY, REALLY TOUGH. YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH, AND HE WILL BENEFIT FROM IT IN MORE WAYS THAT YOU'VE EVEN THOUGHT OF! YOU'LL MAKE LOTS OF NEW MEMORIES, AND JUST THINK OF THE PHOTO OPS! CHIN UP!

Stephanie E said...

Hi from SITS! I am an educator, and I think that you are making the right decision to send your son to pre-school!

Fullerton Family said...

Oh my gosh, I am sitting here about to bawl for you and imagining it for me! Good grief, you are strong! It will be so good for him, though. I've had the same thought, Kami needs to get a little more outgoing! Good grief, that girl is shy!! Love you lots!

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