Monday, February 22, 2010

the thing about change

the thing about change and me is that it takes quite a bit of internal and mental prodding for me to make the jump to it. you see i tend to make myself quite comfortable where i am and once the jump is made i find myself in a kind of new commitment. commitments are stressful at times and i don't like breaking them.

over the past couple of weeks i have been feeling the need to make changes in several areas of my life. changes that i have been inspired will help me to become a better wife and mother. and hopefully just a better person in general. i don't think that means that i have been living my life in a bad way...just maybe not the best way for my situation.

i thought i was ready for the snow to leave. but it has been a blessing today. it's given me the opportunity to stay home with my boys and relax and enjoy them. i've listened to soothing music and taken it easy. the spirit in my home today has solidified my desire for changes and i'm ready for the jump. some of these changes are personal. physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. others are not. like the fact that i am ready to quit my shop for the time being. i have loved it. really loved it. but right now my ultimate goal is to raise my children well and to be there for them as best i can. i am so blessed to have a husband who i know will do all that it takes to provide for our family. there is nothing fulfilling enough to make up for the time it can take and the energy that would be better served elsewhere.

i want to take this week to focus on these things and not stress or divert my attention elsewhere. so i'll see you next week perhaps? good. take care then.

xo. ash


Jessica said...

oh i know how you feel. i have felt the same recently, when i start to think of all the things i have going, kids, husband, callings, activities, crazy work scheduales, house duties, etsy, all that, it gets so overwhelming. major anxiety attack. im sure you know just what im talking about. but when you look at whats more important on that list, is of course kids and husband. im sure whatever you decide will be best for you. you gotta do what you gotta do right? all will be well.
thanks for your comment on my blog the other day,,, it really puts things into perspective.:) have a great week with your boys.

{nicole coombs} said...

It seems you and I are always on the same page! I have been putting of serious issues at least they are to me that finally I think its time to pull them out of the closet and take a better look at them. Can you believe just minutes before reading your post I was thinking about seeing a therapist?! As much as I love blogging I have been thinking about shuutting her down for a while and I mean like months.
Enjoy your week!

Mandi said...

Good for you Ash. That is impressive that you are closing down your shop that you love to be with your boys. And it is so impressive that you take the time to stop and notice that there are things you want to work on. Goals. You are amazing to me and I love you. Thank you for writing down your thoughts for me to read. I never get to see you, but I feel like I know a little bit more about you this way. I hope that all the things you are hoping for and working towards come through for you. Love you!

Lizzie said...

change can be uncomfortable, but when in the end we always learn so much from it. good luck!!!!

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