home in the sound of a train

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it was about two o'clock in the morning when i counted the fourth train howl by. disoriented but determined i made my way to the far bedroom to find what would hopefully be the last of my bedroom boxes.

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when we first looked at the house in november we were lucky enough to have the neighbor step out and talk to us. one of our big questions was about the railroad track which is barely more than a stone's throw behind the back fence.

"is it pretty loud inside the house?" matt questioned our prospective neighbor.

apparently they had moved in during the summer and he assured us that then the sound hadn't really been that noticeable. but then the leaves began to fall {in buckets, because that's how they do it here in texas} and the sound traveled further and louder than ever.

i can safely say that was the only doubt we had on the home.

everything else about it was perfect. size, style, location, yard....perfection.

we were undeterred.

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i unpacked box after box as mechanically as any woman could. with each passing train i winced in dread of the children waking. first the thundering, then the horn at the crossing, another bout of thunder, another horn and then nothing. just silence and boxes.

i wondered to myself how we had ended up here in texas. far away from the mountains that i love and the people who i love even more. in truth i never saw myself staying put in arizona. i saw traveling and adventures for us. so why was this such a shock to me? maybe because the travels and adventures that i had not so carefully planned out in my head had nothing to do with the great state of texas. not a single thing. or maybe it was that in my head i think i'm a much stronger person than in reality i tend to be.

the unpacking commenced and so did the time. christmas, new years, beloved family holidays in a foreign home in a foreign town, in a foreign state.

i began to wonder if it would ever feel real.

until last week when the boys and i returned home from a shopping trip. we bumped over the railroad tracks and beneath the cover of tall trees and straggly vines. in perfect melody the boys chimed that we were almost home. we pulled down the street and up our drive and into the house with our purchases. we were spot on time to hear the beginnings of a train. first the thundering, then the horn at the crossing, another bout of thunder, another horn and then nothing. a kind of nothing that is everything. it was the peaceful, calm silence that warms you inside and tells you that you are home.