If you were to look at me today you would see bags under my eyes. You would hear slurred and brutally impaired speech. You would probably be under the impression that you were watching me in slow motion.
You would be wrong. I really am just moving THAT slow.
It would seem that the problem is those pesky monsters that go THUMP in the night.
I'm not talking about snaggle-toothed creatures under my bed. Nor am I referring to all those hairy wild things lurking in the closet, making all that rowdy ruckus.
That I could handle.
This is worse. Much worse.
I am talking about mops who have not been put to use in nearly a month, a refrigerator that is roaring wildly at me for a washing, dust that is having an unruly party atop my kitchen cupboards and a computer who mocks me because he knows I should be using him for more than just blogging. Like perhaps taxes. Just a thought.
These are the things that go thump in the night.
Two beautiful children ago, I would have had no problem wielding my sword of bravery and hacking these things down. I would stay up until dawn, banishing these things from my thoughts. And then I would snuggle into my bed and sleep until supper time.
Feeling like the conqueror.
Instead I run myself in circles. How is it that at the end of the day I am exhausted and worn, with no sign that anything has been accomplished?
I do stay up to greet dawn on occasion. However, these wild escapades are not followed a day of rest.
No, it is much better than that. It is followed by a pajama day!
These are the glorious days where my two sweet men and I play and lounge in our comfy jammies til well past noon.
And then bedtime rolls back around and I begin again at square one. Having gone full circle.
I do what must be done.
I wash the dishes, sweep the floor, tidy up the bedroom floors and finally I wash my face.
Sometimes the last act is enough to wake me up to finish some extra things. But not lately.
Lately it is just enough to keep me oriented for my walk to the bed.
Always hopeful that I will close my eyes and instantaneously drift off into a peaceful dreamlike state.
Not the case.
The thumping begins and I lay there.
I consider getting up and tackling the dark shadows that loom just over my head.
Eventually exhaustion wins.
But not tonight.
Today I am ridding myself of these pesky beasts once and for all.
Tonight I will rest my weary head with nothing to bother me. Nothing to laugh at me. Nothing to interfere with my sweet dreams.
Today I am going to be the conqueror.