Tuesday, May 15, 2012

what we did today and why

at five o'clock i grabbed a blanket from the closet and proclaimed that it was picnic time.  the boys were so excited and got their shoes on quicker than i have ever seen them before.  i buckled little miss up snug in her car seat and said a little prayer that she would fall asleep.  it's been one of those days.  we got ourselves in the swagger wagon and away we went on our adventure.

it involved slushies from sonic, chasing off bugs, a sleeping {teething} six-month old, food sharing, thunder rolling, story telling and many more wonderful things.  it was much needed.  i've been a little down on myself these past few days and have needed some heart-healing.  see, i recently had another moment of clarity that involved more moments of personal shame.

to make a long story short, one of the sweet mother's day notes i received, confirmed something that i already feared.  in a short little biography of his momma, gage wrote "she is on the computer during the day."  reading those words stung because it was something i already knew i was struggling with.  i've justified and justified myself over and over.  there are things i have to do.  but deep down i knew i needed to make adjustments.  i can find better times to edit photos.  i can cut wayyy back on things like pinterest, facebook, blogging, etc.  no my older boys don't need me to be right by their sides every second of the day, but they do need me to be here and be more than just physically present.  so that is something i am working on.  and seeing the joy that it brought them to go on our unplanned outing today was encouraging.

in this digital age it is so easy to lose sight of the important things.  i can't even tell you how many times i have sat down to the computer to "just look something up real fast" and then an hour later realize that i am still sitting there, accomplishing nothing.  have i been neglecting my children?  no.  but have i been investing as much of myself into each of them personally as i have the blasted computer?  no.

today i sat down and had gage read me a book.  it probably took twenty-five minutes to get through, but we got through it.  he got through it.  and when he was done you could see it in his eyes that he loved those twenty-five minutes of sounding out words to his mom.  garrett and i baked a batch of cupcakes.  we poured the leftover batter into a bowl and microwaved it to see what would happen.  we then made our way to the living room where he hurdled large stacks of pillows to the ooing and ahhing of his mother.  and boy was he ever proud of himself!  and of course kelsie jane has had all the mommy time she wanted today and more.  that's how she rolls.

now i just know that everyone on facebook is sitting on pins and needles waiting for some profound post or comment or a like or two from me {insert sarcasm here}.  but today my boys weren't waiting around for me to show up and be interested in their lives and that is what matters.

so much for making a long story short huh?

i guess the jest of this post would be, go find your babies and look each of them in the eyes, ask them what they would do if they could do anything in the world and then hug them and tell them how amazing they are.  i guarantee you that will be the best three minutes of their day and yours.

xoxo. ash

1 comment:

Lacey said...

Chad once asked Jackson, "What does mommy do for work?". He answered,"She works on the computer.". Dagger through the heart!! That was a huge wake up call for me!! Huge! I has thought he would answer more like I was master cookie baker or professional fort builder, but no. I struggle with my computer time and the "I just need to do something real quick" syndrome as well. I'm trying to stick to a schedule. I don't always do it perfectly, but I feel so much better on the days that I do.